I want to be a fruit ninja

Up until just a few weeks ago, I had never even heard of the fruit ninja game before. But of course, I'm one of those nerds that doesn't have cable and has zero interest in video games (aside from a little Tetris here and there). Then, suddenly, the kids I nanny (I will call them B & A on here) were so excited that their Saba (Jewish grandfather) was coming for a visit! Saba comes to visit them every couple of months or so, and he stays for at least a week, sometimes longer.

I also happen to love it when Saba visits. Not only is he a huge help with the three kids that I normally care for all on my own for hours each weeknight (in the midst of homework and extracurriculars and dinner and viola practice), but we all love the stories that he tells us. Saba has a million stories (many of which are probably exaggerated but are still hilarious), which he tells us in such an animated fashion through his thick Hebrew accent, usually while peeling fruit for the kids. It's precious!

And there's another perk to Saba's visits. It is the only time that the kids are allowed to play games on the iPad...and these are kids that are not allowed to watch any television at all. I know that I don't sound like supernanny right now, but anything that will keep an energetic 6-year-old boy and precocious 4-year-old girl occupied for any amount of time is absolute heaven every once in a while. So, this past week, B and A have spent more time than they should playing Fruit Ninja while Saba is off with the baby, and I have felt a little guilty about getting paid big bucks to relax with a cup of decaf and some rare silence. The kids have even invited me to try my hand at slicing those coconuts and bananas with fast finger swipes. I've found that I'm actually quite talented at this new game, thank you very much.

The theme of our church service today was based on this popular game that I've recently discovered, and how it's important to fuel our minds and bodies and spirits in order to be properly nourished to take on the tasks that we're called to do. They even served some fruit and veggie kabobs after the service (an adorable and tasty idea!). During the service, we watched a video about a man that was suddenly struck with a furious passion to run the Boston Marathon. This is someone who weighed over 300 pounds and was never able to lose any weight until he committed to this dream. Not only did he end up accomplishing his goal, but he also lost over 100 pounds in the process!

Wow! I really needed to hear that tonight. I have an addiction that I've been trying to shake for a few years now: the need to cook delicious (and expensive) gourmet meals every single night. I love to cook, I'm pretty good at it, and I love to eat yummy food even more. This expensive consumption has been the biggest hurdle for me...not only for weight loss, but also in keeping our budget under control. I've failed miserably and have constantly beat myself up time and time again during this ongoing cycle I've been on these past few years.

Tonight, something amazing happened, and it occurred right after our Fruit Ninja sermon. I've stressed out about how I'm going to afford the mission trip to Uganda I'm taking in just seven months. It's something I JUST HAVE TO DO. I want to see the impoverished school in Ntandi that our church supports...in person...and to hold those orphans in my arms! Right now, nothing gives me greater pleasure than my daydreams about walking those dirt floors with barefoot children that have gigantic smiles a million watts brighter than most American kids who lack nothing (like B and A). And I realized that this dream is my own personal Boston Marathon.

Will I stop spending too much money on food so that I can lose weight and save money? Nope. However sad it is, that hasn't been enough to motivate me. I really don't care how I look in a bikini because I'm not planning to enter a beauty pageant, and my husband is still attracted to me even though I gained weight. Will I do so in order to afford a trip to Uganda so that I can spend time with genuinely hungry, malnourished orphans, and be a part of a team that brainstorms more ways to help them have the ability to eat every day? Absolutely! Nothing can possibly stand in the way of that dream. It's going to fuel the sword that slashes through our food budget just like the ones on Fruit Ninja!

I'm not as brave as Nik Wallenda

Okay, I know he's such an adrenaline junkie that he makes Evil Kenevil seem like an agoraphobic, but I must admit that I just can't get enough of Nik Wallenda's dangerous stunts. Like most people, I didn't have a clue who he was until, by some fluke, I found myself hooked to the television when he crossed Niagara Falls on a tightrope this past fall. He wore a tether during that trek and so there was no real risk involved (other than the shame of failing his dream in front of millions of viewers), but I still couldn't stop watching it. He glided along that slippery tightrope while very audibly praying that God would keep him from falling, and that was so inspiring to me.

I watched his interview on Good Morning America the next day, when he announced that the Grand Canyon was next, and I immediately marked my calendar for the event. When I learned through his Facebook page update a couple of weeks ago that he would be doing so without a tether this time, I was completely blown away. I'm not surprised that he would attempt that after watching him complain about what a drag that thing was during the Niagara Falls adventure, but I couldn't believe that the Discovery Channel would actually allow that. Did they really air a live show of someone crossing the Grand Canyon on a tightrope without a single safety restraint? Seriously? I'm still in shock!

The butterflies really fluttered around my gut in the week before the event, and I had some very intense nightmares about him falling to his death. Even though I (somehow) genuinely believed that he would survive it, my heart hammered in my chest with every step he took, and I practically fainted every time he crouched down to readjust his position. The pre-show did a great job of terrifying everyone about what could happen. The vibrations could build up in the rope and shake it like a trampoline, a sudden gust of wind could knock him out of balance, the optical illusion effect could cause vertigo... There was an endless list of potential dangers.

But none of them were enough to stop him from stepping out on that high wire. A thin wire 1500 feet above the canyon floor that he wobbled 1700 feet across. While wearing jeans, but no safety tether. Wow! The guy inspires me, but at the same time, also reminds me of what a faith wimp I am. As he was quoted as saying just a few days before the event, "Fear is choice, danger is real. You can decide if you're scared of something or not." That's something that I might be learning for a long time. The difference between Nik Wallenda and I is simple: far too often, I do let the what-ifs make my choices for me. I can't help but wonder what I've missed out on as the result.

 How can I learn to surrender my fears and develop that kind of bravery? I won't be crossing the Grand Canyon on a tightrope anytime soon, but there are other kinds of risks I'd like to be gutsy enough to take in order to embark upon my own personal adventures.

Hi, I'm LIZ

I've yearned to start another blog for a while now. To pour my heart out on a webpage that, once more, anyone and everyone can read, even though it's terrifying.

The first step held me back for weeks, if not months: choosing the perfect name. That might seem silly, but it's really not a simple task. I flipped through Roget's Thesaurus of Phrases until I had lots of little paper cuts, I browsed my Shel Silverstein collection for some inspiration, and I hemmed and hawed. A lot. This went on for hours this morning, but I persevered because I was determined to nail something down today, even if it sucked.

I finally realized that my name is in the word realize, and I frequently use that word, so why not use it to name my blog? That's exactly what this blog will be: the realizations of Liz. My life is so multi-faceted that it's hilarious, and I am looking forward to recording my thoughts on all the aspects of my own personal juggling act.